Otherside

giant

2005-12-19T14:53:00.000+08:00

hey its been one week since i started work at giant. id like to take back what i said about how i wish i were still schooling. im really beginning to enjoy my work now. thank god they transferred me to the customer service. now i work with a small group of havoc young assholes and there are two more newbies so smuer same-same blur. the fun part got to be the pranks and helping each other out. the shittiest part would probably getting all those stupid shittyhead complaints from customers. im definitely ok with customers who want a five cent refund so they could put inside the donation box outside the counter but those who made you page these promoters and those duty managers and call other franchises for the price of one stupid set of disposable chair; their ass is their brain.

oh one interesting thing happened yesterday. a disguised police guy went around showing the staff cctv shots of two men, i assumed indian, who smoothly hypnotised some cashiers into giving them money out of the cashbox. it was kinda funny but a littly bit scary. i never believed hypnotism works. but well now, im not so sure. he also told us not to directly look into customers' eyes in case they wanna hypnotise us. what shit.

g'day

2005-12-09T10:28:00.000+08:00

hey,been trying to meet you,
hey,must be a devil between us or,
whores in my head,
whores at my doorwhores,
in my bed but,
hey,where,
have you been
if you go i will surely die
we're chained
I'm open, you're closed. Where I follow, you'll go. I worry I won't see your face,
Light up again

nadir of.

2005-11-09T14:19:00.000+08:00

australia trip.
POSTPONED TILL MARCH NEXT YEAR.
money, what else?

i never thought id be back blogging.

im halfway thru my olevels. 13 more days to go. i dunno if i still wanna retake the papers next year. the papers so far werent that bad. but i knew if there is another opportunity (one more year!) next time id get my fucking arse down and really studyg id be able to get good results. so maybe i should. i must.

i cant believe i wasted my four years of cedar playing, getting emo and getting into lots of trouble. AND not making any good friends in skool. well i cant force myself to be good friends with people i just cant click with in the first place. i guess i was just depriving someone else of a place in cedar.

wow, i still cant believe im in an elite skool. so i guess im one of the elites. hahah that is so stupidshit. elites not only smart but must be rich. im far from rich. my parents too.

so thats one thing. olevels. the other big thing is, im hoping real badly that my parents will really divorce tis coming 21st. i cant wait to move out and start a new home. new life. so exciting! well excpt we have to move to a 3room house. that kinda sucks. my current house cant gimme enough privacy what can a three room one do? we will see. till then. bye.

ps/ everyones studying. even shaza. i dont wanna be the last in skool again. ever. wont. one thing i really want now is to just get enough to enter tp business course.

supergood news!

2005-09-24T12:47:00.000+08:00

GOOD NEWS #1
we are going down under. three weeks. shaza and I. power giler boleh mati lah siak. and surprisingly my parents didnt even need to think about it and my dad is even gonna fork out 500bucks for shopping and stuff exclusive of airfare which i will start saving up real soon. oh man i just cant wait. i wanna shop there like crazy. for now, i just hope shaza's mom would let her go.

GOOD NEWS #2
cedar is ranked Band 1 AGAIN alongside some 3 boys schools. im fucking proud ah. but confirm next year we drop to Band 2 or something. my batch has gotta be the stupidest. but only next year cos the following batches are superfucking smart.

happyhols

2005-09-03T19:50:00.000+08:00

i hate sats. i love suns.

went to shaz's house like 5 plus in the morning. went to skool at 7 plus. met up with tis boy who who likes me. half the time, i swear i have no idea what he was talking about. hanyut language to the maxx. but hes great fun. i hate it when people look at me in the eyes purposely for so long just so they could make me blush or annoy me like shaza lah. and he did just that. haha. and he's quite cute, with super sexy arms. just my type.

super good way to start the term break. yummy.

but thinking abt that someone just spoils my hol mood. how pathetic can she get? is she ever gonna grow up? is she ever gonna realise her own (many many) fucking flaws? instead of bitching all the way about other people's flaws? talk about total*******! just fug off. ive never liked you too, wayyyy before you thought that same way abt me. and i know you know that.

you just make me wanna puke. im so sick of being nice to you. you dont deserve it. i realise and accept my flaws. but do YOU? if you ever read tis, i just know what you would fucking say. and I. DONT. GIVE. A SINGLE. SHIT. i heard it ten housand times. cant believe you called me shallow, ignorant. everyone knows YOUR THE SHALLOW NAIVE one. self-proclaimed 'high-profile' kid.

ohmygod. tis post is so bitchy. but i just cant help it anymore. im just sick of your stupid thoughts, you talking cock, or what you think is actually intellectual but is not. get a grip.

TAEBO!

2005-08-22T17:46:00.000+08:00

i had to go to reflection centre again just now. tis time it's bcos i came to skool late for over 4 times tis year. it isnt that bad cos in sec one shaza and me would be late at least 5 times in a month. anyways the teacher counselor was mrs kwek. she taught chinese language and her english wasnt that good so she asked me to help her write a comment about me so she could show the principal. haha shes old but damn cute lah. what else, i told her to write all the good things about me lah like, SHE SEEMS COMMITTED TO WORK ON HER NEW ACTION PLAN yadda3. haha shes 55 times better than that assholic noeline lee. how could she say Allah and Jesus are the same?! that she a christian and us muslims believe in one God? how ignorant can she be lah siak?

anyways. for the first time, i enjoyed PE so much hahah. we did TAEBO (taekwondo + kickboxing)! watched billy blank's dvd and kicked our fat asses along. damn fast and tiring. TIS is fun. we should be doing tis for every PE lessons. ive never sweated tis much before. i want the dvd! i remember when i was little my mom would exercise with him on tv. so cute.

random quizzes

2005-08-20T10:43:00.000+08:00

Your Kissing Purity Score: 80% Pure

You've hardly ever been kissed

But the kisses you've given are very missed

Kissing Purity Test

You are elegant, withdrawn, and brilliant.
Your mind is a weapon, able to solve any puzzle.
You are also great at poking holes in arguments and common beliefs.

For you, comfort and calm are very important.
You tend to thrive on your own and shrug off most affection.
You prefer to protect your emotions and stay strong.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

How You Life Your Life

You are honest and direct. You tell it like it is.

You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think.

You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly.

You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.

How Do You Live Your Life?

Your Mood Ring is Light Blue

Emotions mixed
Unsettled
Cool

Mood Ring Generator

sunday bloody sunday

2005-08-14T14:17:00.000+08:00

syah stop being a drama queen
shaz stop being an innocent bitch
me. i cant be bothered.
three more months and im out of tis fucking shithole.

fad asked me to come back. i really want to. i really do. but for now, i just want to be alone again and forget everything, everyone. i dont wanna be so dependent on anyone anymore.

anyways. highlights of the week? east coast, definitely. and the cute boy who sang and played the guitar in the bus. so jiwang cannot tahan but his voice damn heavenly and touching. i like!

fight!

2005-08-13T22:48:00.000+08:00

attenzione

on the 6th of august. i said something abt me not caring abt ppl who bitch abt ml. a few people have taken it upon themselves to think that i am referring to them. i guess in a way it sounds that way and in some ways i do feel resentment towards them for it. but the thing is. the world does not revolve around my cca. my school life does. i wouldnt risk wrecking amities just for this.

but whatever whatever... what i want to say is that im sorry if you feel tht its abt you. im sorry if ive been insensitive. im sorry for not being a good friend.

so there.

FUCKfuckfuck. why cant you ppl just stop fighting? all of you can just fuck off lah. fucking losers. where are our meeting tergempars? why so fucked up now? sorry for not being a good friend? that is so not enough but i fuckin care no more. and FUCK MLDDS.

charlie

2005-08-10T19:09:00.000+08:00

oh my god. i wasted 8 bucks on charlie and the choc factory. otherwise, i had fun with syah and shaz, towning. then me and syah went to tamp just so we could walk back home from tamp again. but syah didnt wanna walk through the dark stretch of road between tamp and bedok. wasted sia. if shaz were there, she would make sure we find for ghosts and scare the shit out of me.

just got back from eunos. sent shaza's 'kids' home after we went to expo (book sale ended yesterday) and tamp. we counted at least 5 mats with white specs in less than 15 minutes. wahh damn disgusting lah siak, especially if a whole group wear the specs. singaporeans have absolutely no taste.

tomorrow's the second part of coursework B. im so scared cos i know i wont be getting an A for FNN. i just had to fuck up both coursework. and tis is the only subject i could be getting an A for. damn stupid lah the fact that I FUCKING KNEW THE O-LEVEL TASK QUESTION beforehand cos some schools done it and yet i didnt practise answering the question or do research. God, someone pls slap me. everything in tis world has to come with a price so fuck you lah.

im so angsty tis past few days. at my mom, fad, myself.

The Good and the Ugly

2005-08-08T08:22:00.000+08:00

So I'm aRandom Brutal Love Dreamer.

National Day. Missing school celebration. Towning. Charlie & Choc Factory (roald dahl!). Paragon. Borders. Bedok. Eye candies.

God. I love Fadly. But it's so over. My fault, again.

Racial Harmony

2005-07-30T12:18:00.000+08:00

Went to town for lunch after school on Friday with Marie and Syah. I absolutely love Marie's condo and her freedom. I wish I'm living with roommates, no parents but in Singapore. Ya I do want to travel, but NOT for study purposes.

Friday was also a belated Racial Harmony Day for Cedar. I expected it to be a half-day but there were the normal lessons and a very boring assembly to commemorate the occasion. I wore Marie's cheong sam. It was fucking tight that sitting was almost impossible and I felt damn hot lah as in literally. I thought I would tear the whole thing. If there were a catfight, it would be fun though. The costume was pretty but it made my ugly boobs stick out.

Yay Monday is the 1st August. A nice day to start the month. So now if someone asks me for the date, Id know.

Hanyut Part 1

2005-07-28T16:54:00.000+08:00

From top to bottom;
Malay version of Sylvester, sek ah, buy one get one free, Punk to the maxx, garang ahh!

for real photography, check out my latest finds.
http://www.michaelkenna.net
http://stevedavisphotography.com
http://www.paulpolitis.com

Sunday Bloody Sunday

2005-07-24T18:05:00.000+08:00

Now that those pijats have encroached on my house I just cant wait to move house! I feel so paranoid everyday about where to sit or lie down. Even my classroom is cleaner. I tell you the only place safe from those little creatures is the toilet. God, help me!

Guess what? I already have three counselors. I asked for no more counselling cos that Geraldine sucks and they gave me a new one and also a teacher-counselor. Haha I find it funny although I hate counselling. The school is just wasting their money on me. They could have used the money more constructively, like hiring a tutor for me or something. Not that I want one.

Anyways, my dad bought a car. Surreptitiously. We only knew about it the other day when, believe it or not, my mom was in my aunt's car and he happened to stop right next to them at the traffic light. Funny. But still yucky!

Monday blues coming.

Stupid O-levels

2005-07-08T15:07:00.000+08:00

ohmigod. I fucking hate it when everyone tries to tell scare me whatever their means are that there's barely 4 months to O-levels and I should start mugging yada yada. I fucking know that lah. Im so stressed. Cos I really cant study. Ive forgotten how to study.

Ok today is the first time I attend ART after so long. When I came Syah, Shaz, Deena nowhere. Pembelots haha. Anyway, Ms Sim and Mrs Lim had to chase after me. Well but I have to come anyway to finish my coursework. I have yet to start on anything after Research while everyone else is probably working on their last draft of the last section. I feel like taking someone's perfect coursework and just copy blindly before burning her's. Well... Im not desperate enough. It's just the O-levels.

Haiz. Ive a lot and a lot to talk about but well I think I have to go. Cant stand ART anymore. Maybe gonna cabot halfway.

Anyways, the rashes on my legs are much or less gone. I dont consider my legs as an asset anymore. So now Ive no asset but well im happy. At least lesser maksiats. Hahaha kidding.

Thank God It's Friday

2005-06-17T15:33:00.000+08:00

Courtesy of Shaz and her models.com

No plans for today so here I am:

blogging, again

listening to Brit rock music . Fuck, Im seriously running out of music to listen to. I'm like suffering from an overdose of whatever's on my list. I know this because Bob Marley's sounding like Malay jiwang music to my ears now.

browsing sites on vintage art, photography. My love for such things is still very much there haha. If only a photographer brings in a lot of money. Otherwise it's like the perfect job. I'd be able to travel, no 9-5 working hours. Wow. But I guess, come this money and stuff, I'm more of follow-the-brain-not-heart person. Fuck it, I will still take Business course and manage designer brands, chic restaurants, become a freelance buyer/photographer.

and stoning in between.

Oh and the picture up there. Fucking hot (Shaza would say to the maxx). The model too. His name is Sandy, very sexy, very soigne. Hahah.

Happy ending?

2005-06-17T09:09:00.000+08:00

My dad bought me a discman. His bonhomie was such that I felt obliged to give him a fuckinwide smile of surprise and friendliness, something he hadnt earned from me in a fuckinmillion years. But that smile only lasted a few minutes. If he wanted more, he should had at least bought me an IPod. Call me materialistic cos deep inside me, I am.

Honestly, Im not angry at him anymore. I just feel sorry for him because soon he'll lose the only thing in this damn world that keeps him sane. Family. Hahah such irony.

Well, I really hope this is IT. I hope my mom isnt just exaggerating, again. Pay $300 and we are out of here. Then, Id call my friends. For I want to celebrate. The much-anticipated freedom.

The only thing is my mom wants to move to Clementi. I want the East. I will miss the Bedok Reservoir people. Clementi is so alien-ish. Where is that anyway? I will think abt that later. One melodrama at a time.

Weirdness

2005-06-15T18:15:00.000+08:00

Ok I'm at a friend's friend's place, to use her multi-purpose printer to zap my mid-year exam's report sheet (Needed by court). It's super bad that her kid brother laughed at me. Kids. They are fuckin assholic and nothing but. When they are babies, Id say wahh cute like shit sia but when they turn like 6, mcm sampah masyarakat. Of cos, there are exceptions. I was a good kid, hahah.

Eng 68
Malay 69
A math 33
Math 42
Chem/Bio 37
SS/geog 42
FNN 53

Id make sure I study and persevere like crazy about 2 months before Olevels and get 15 points for LIR5. hahah, I hope.

Tis past few days had been really weird for me, the healthy, lovely sort of weird. Firstly, I thought I finally know the meaning of love at first sight (hahah tis is exaggerated). I was at Novena's McCafe and I looked up from doing whatever I was doing and wow, there he is the loverboy I never had, staring at me. Hahah but that was it. No number, no nothing. He had bleached hair. Almost greyish colour. Usually, it would be a turn-off (cos its so mat) but that moment, I thought I could just love and die for his hair.

Weird moment number 2. Fadly was with me at Eunos. There was this strange cute mat, fair (not my type). He just looked at me the whole time with a very weird expression on his face, almost very excited sort of look (like how some pakciks smile lecherously at me times 10). He walked back and forth in front of us, talking on the phone. I swear I was sort of nervous and scared but at the same time, getting very excited too. Hahah and Fadly was swearing under his breath and told me to stop staring back at that weird guy. But it was so funny, weird and sweet. I had never seen someone like that, being able to make me so excited I swear I could just walk up to him and say Hi. Hahah no I wont even have that much confidence in a million years.

And lastly (as my memory serves) and also the most weird of all was that I'd been talent-scouted (the world has come to an end) by this guy out of nowhere. He told me he was looking for... It didnt take me a long to say Sorry, I cant and walk away. Only later it sank in my brain and I was paralysed with fuckin surprise. It's like Aaron Aziz @ gayboy in tight tshirts and his best comedian nomination. He has never ever thought of even getting nominated for that The Best Comedian. Why? Bcos he knows he really is absolutely indubitably not funny. Well truthfully, I havent watched him act in a comedy and do not intend to bcos the simple fact is our pelawak-pelawaks memang sungguh tak stim. Ok sorry, I managed to sidetrack a lot. So back to me, I had and would never ever thought of being approached to model for something bcos I dont have what it takes. I swear if I were to tell my friends about this, they would just laugh in super disgust and disbelief. Ok they wont show disgust. Because they are not that bad, my friends. And I love them no matter what.

So yeah, that's it. I can sense my stupid comp getting ready to hang. Bye blog.

Preaching?

2005-06-12T12:18:00.000+08:00

My mom just kicked my butt, literally and metaphorically. She was so bitchy. Just because I forgot to fold the clothes she asked me to and that I was more interested in watching Water Boys than what she had got to say. This goes to show how long it had been since she was last ******.

I've been doing some thinking. Character is what you do when no one is looking. If that's that, then I guess not many will go to heaven. For one reason, I know many who indulge themselves in masturbation, be it at home, movie theater or even the school's computer lab. No I'm not referring to Af. I do believe her, the room was at freezing point and she was rubbing her hands between her thighs for warmth. Not her. But somebody else. No prize for guessing. She visited porn websites like nobody's fucking business during English class.

And I've always thought I would somewhat surely end up in paradise cos I can differentiate the good from the bad. But then, knowing isnt enough. Those stupid minahs also know what's good what's not. It's just that they are trained not to be any less ignorant, naive and it doesnt take much for any mats to sweet-talk and get what they want from these skin-deep creatures. Ok im mean. What do I know? Maybe not all minahs are like that. And see, bitching about minahs and mats are just one sin sure to put me in hell.

The Start of the Beginning

2005-06-11T08:18:00.000+08:00

5 girls. 1 Mission. To showcase the ugliness of the youth today. Basically, to obliterate the bad fashion sense and oust attitude problems of mats and minahs.

That's what the Hyt members are going to be busy with soon. Although now I somewhat have my doubts about the "promising" number of people Hyt will attract. What if it isnt successful? What if Hyt gets hate mails and nothing but; and the gang ultimately get caught? Hahah I even doubt we would start on it.

Anyways, Im kind of glad because the next time I see my counselor, I can proudly tell her that I have taken the first big risky step. Ok fine, actually not yet, just the beginning of the first step. That's enough an accomplishment for me! Hahah. Even if unfortunately, I know I have made someone unhappy. But that's the thing, I have to stop being so paranoid and a fucking pushover.

Bonjour!

2005-06-10T04:00:00.000+08:00

I will not succumb to cracked digressions, not while I have the strength to resist the cracks. fuck mood swings, fuck ignorance, fuck whatever's making my life as it is right now. I will face each day with a clean slate and act as if others are clean as well. I will learn to love and be loved.